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| Report: | Let me first paint a picture for you. The country is almost on its knees and every move the Prime Minister makes seems to bring us closer to total submission. Not even the announcement that Queen is about to release a forgotten song featuring Freddie Mercury can reverse the almost inevitable. Well, surrender, on your knees are not within the Boys in Blue vocabulary. The Marple Hillbillies, the tonight’s opponents with their gutsy approach brought the best out of the Boys in Blue.
Andy The Chancellor Booth (Well to be perfectly honest he would do a better job than the man in number 11 Downing St) was first on against John The Technician Verity. The Technician took the first game mainly because the Chancellor was pre-occupied with interest rate fluctuation. Looking at them both after the first game with similar magenta faces you would have thought they had spent the time sitting in front of a sunbed. Unlike the guy in number 11 Downing Street this Chancellor revered the slide taking the next 3 games from the Technician. Leaving the court, they were each handed a bottle of after sun
The viewing balcony began to fill up with locals that had diverted from their evening dog walking duties. What they were about to witness next was out of the Roald Dahl book tales of the unexpected.
Up next was the pensioner who at 3 score and ten was out to prove there is life after reaching the passing timeline. His opponent Joseph The Young Warrior De Souza was out to slay the now renamed Maltese Falcon having arrived back only the day before from the said place. After the first 2 and a half games it looked all over for the Falcon as the warrior branded his mighty racket with precision accuracy of shot. But, just like the phoenix that rose from the ashes of defeat the falcon switched on flight mode boasting, dropping, and driving to win the 3rd 15 – 13. Was there a chink developing in the Young Warriors armour. The 4th went one way and then the other. The Young Warrior using all his speed and agility to cage the Falcon, but it was not to be and from 2 down the Falcon had levelled the game. The 5th was taken by the Falcon 11-6. However, without doubt the Young Warrior will live to fight another day and become a future squash gladiator.
It was now looking very good for the boys in Blue 2 up after 2.
Could Mark The Haircut Ford seal the victory against Chris The Torpedo Smith. From the first frantic rally to the final point not a hair was out of place on the Haircuts head. However, the Torpedo with his exploding shots from every corner of the court proved to be too much for the Brylcream man.
It was now up to James The Game Boy Woodmansey to halt the fight back from Hillbillies. However, Andy The Gentleman Barkley was not for throwing in the towel yet. After, 5 hard fought games The Game Boy found his CALL OF DUTY game taking the rubber 3/2.
The match victory was sealed. Only pride was at stake for the Hillbillies and there was no better man than Olly The Artist Woodcock to try and do that, playing Mr Insanity Al Connor. The Artist racket skills proved too much for Mr Insanity, from the start of the game The Artist dominated the T covering the court like a Vincent Van Gough brush stroke creating a perfect masterpiece of a game.
What a night as time stood still and everyone forgot about the problems of the world outside as we tucked into a gourmet meal.
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