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| Report: | Tonight Whitby play host to Crewe Vagrants who on a cold icy Thursday night made the perilous journey up north.
Playing his first home game for his now beloved Whitby Joe quickly reacquainted himself with our ice box courts v David who found himself playing much higher up the pecking order than he would have liked. No sympathy off Joe who played to the crowd with sublime drives and neat nick and tucks proving himself to be quite the coup for Whitby he may yet prove to be the greatest acquisition we’ve ever had since Ch……. na not finishing that sentence. Quick straightforward win and Whitby 1-0 up.
Next on was Hembo v Mo and after, and I quote “the worst defeat of his life” the previous week this was a man possessed a chomping at the bit to start play. Mo however was making him wait I think he got lost on the way to the changing room or he was just operating in Slow Mo, didn’t change when he got on court as Hembo took all his frustration out on him producing the first bagel of the season in the 1st game and almost replicating it in the 2nd. Mo had no chance and didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of such vengeance. It’s all well and good doing it at home to Mo but can you do it away to Nige is the question Paul haha. Anyway 2-0 to Whitby and Hembo back in business.
Next on and straight from his golf lesson ‘what, what’ was Nick Faldo sorry Charlie v Stuart. Charlie looked like he was still practicing his swing allowing Stuart a tad bit of false hope before he remembered where he was and that the hole in wall was not where he should be aiming at, it’s just the result of years of neglect from our club to rejuvenate our courts. Finally Charlie generously put Stuart out of his misery and allowed him to relax with a pint and made it 3-0 to Whitby.
Next on was Dave v a young upcoming Josh. After taking the first game with ease Dave like the rest of us was a bit shocked when in the 2nd game Josh kicked into gear and showed us all what potential he has stumping Dave with his lengths and widths and putting him to the sword. But we all know nothing Hassel’s the Hoff and Dave quickly regrouped himself and switched up the play and with the balcony in full voice there was only going to be 1 Knight Rider tonight and the game was won 3-1.
Last but not least was Shaun v Rich, and after an impressive performance last week Shaun wanted to follow it up with a win tonight. There was only ever going to be one winner here as Shaun, when he’s relaxed, rolls back the years and dominates the court with his effortless lob and drops. I think Rich hit the ball more times on his serve warm up than he did during play, it was the cutest little OCD tick I’ve ever seen 7 taps of the ball before every serve hahaha gave the balcony a good laugh. Easy enough for Shaun making it 3-0 and 5-0 to Whitby.
So it’s back to the bar for some dried out chilli and rice and to watch the darts team who provided us all with some light entertainment by allowing one of their female spectators perform a striptease around the bar flashing her ample assets (as the Daily Mail would call them) for all to see, even when she was outside in the cold it didn’t stop her pressing them against the glass window. think Midnight Express meets Katie Price and your there! They were nice to look at anyway, they were very nice, they were very very nice, I’m off!
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| Author: | John Hamilton |
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